Helping Family When a Child has Serious Mental Health Issues

How will I manage the impact of one child’s severe mental health issues on our family? My challenge has been to address that issue as our household has dealt with my daughter’s challenges, including anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.

A plan for other family members

When one child struggles with severe issues, most of a parent’s effort and concern diverts to that child.

The fits of rage, calls to crisis hotlines, visits from the police, and the uncertainty of suicidal behavior leave the entire family in a constant state of alert. During one such episode, while my other children cried, I realized I needed to help them with their fear and anxiety for their sister.

To support the mental health of my other children, I’ve taken the following steps.

Openness. First, I’m open with my other children about the seriousness of their sister’s condition. While her issues are scary, straightforward communication is important – and could be the difference between life and death.

Plan of action. To help manage our family’s fears, I needed to develop a plan of action for steps to take during an escalation if I wasn’t at home. My sons and I worked together to make a list of options and phone numbers based on the severity of the situation. I am listed on the plan as first contact; the next step is to contact trusted friends and family (if I can’t be reached); then a crisis hotline; and last, 911.

Counselling and support groups. Another thing I did was to arrange counseling for my sons so they can express fears and concerns to a trusted outsider. I see a counselor, too, and get additional help from others going through similar experiences. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has local chapters across the country, and the NAMI chapter in my state offers support groups for family members of those struggling with these types of issues.

Lessons and encouragement for other parents

It’s been a long and tiring road, with many lessons learned along the way.

Acceptance was a step that helped give me clarity. When one of your children exhibits suicidal tendencies, it’s a terrifying and heartbreaking situation. But through acceptance, I’ve been able to acknowledge the powerful emotions involved – and to reduce their potential stranglehold, allowing me to act. It took a while to get to a place where I could face these scary emotions and figure out how to help the entire family.

While my daughter is still struggling – and the rest of us deal with the resulting anxiety – my family now has tools for coping with the stress. Most importantly, we can have open discussions about our concerns and how they affect us.