How We Helped Our Son Navigate Severe Anxiety

Many of us are familiar with the saying, ‘it never rains, but it pours.’ For my son, that concept became reality during his junior year of high school: a persistent infection resulted in high stress, and led to a case of severe anxiety.

The promising start to the high school year came to an abrupt end, and my son struggled with his health, then fell into a debilitating depression. Meanwhile, our family scrambled to figure out how to help.

What helped

Following conversations with health professionals, my son decided to leave school and focus on improving his physical and mental health.

A few things were especially helpful as we worked our way through the new challenges:

Support and information. Early on, my spouse and I focused on reassuring our son and becoming partners in his health journey. The school vice-principal told me about a specialized program: a hospital day program that combined assessment, mental health counselling, and academics. We met with the team and my son enrolled in their program.

Research. Our children’s pediatrician had always been excellent – for example, he’d tried different medications until one finally cured our son’s complex infection – but even after decades of helping children and teens, that doctor hadn’t heard about the program my son was entering. I realized then that, as a parent, I needed to become better informed about sources of assistance. I found out about an organization that offered support groups, and participating helped our family move forward.

Open conversations. Another helpful step was having open conversations with my son about the issues he was dealing with, including some challenges we, as his parents, had handled and overcome as adolescents. As we talked about our own journeys as teenagers, we developed greater empathy for the struggles of being young, especially in these times.

Everyday activities and a second opinion

Sharing ordinary activities. During those first weeks and months, my spouse and I made a habit of doing everyday things with our son. This involvement helped balance his mental health issues with ordinary life and companionship.

A second opinion. After graduating from the mental health program, my son felt better and more equipped to deal with anxiety before it became a problem. He decided to attend a different school, beginning the following term: as the school date approached, however, my son kept worrying about everything he’d been through. So, I arranged another appointment – with a different mental health specialist recommended to us. During our visit, that expert reviewed our family’s experience and decisions. This outside perspective was reassuring and confirmed for my son that he’d made the best choice.

Takeaways

If another parent in a similar situation to ours were to ask me for advice, I’d share a couple of things.

My most important discovery was that youth mental health issues are common – and it’s crucial to remember this, especially if your family feels isolated during a mental health crisis. Find people who understand the challenges of growing up in these times, and who encourage you and your family.

The second thing I’d recommend to other families is to maintain optimism. Things can turn out very well after a mental health challenge: now, almost eight years later, my son is thriving and doing just as well as many of his high school classmates. And I have found that my child’s early struggles have led to a greater maturity, and deeper compassion, than displayed by many his age.