Remembering Others in Joyful Times
My daughter, Dahlia, was born at the end of July 2005. In those foggy-brained, exhausting early weeks of caring for a newborn (and her highly energetic three-year old brother), keeping up on current events was the last thing on my mind.
My sole focus on family changed, however, with the emergence of stories about the devastation in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. In the snippets of news that I had time enough to read or watch, the tragedy, loss, and suffering so many thousands of people were facing was a startling juxtaposition to the cozy, comfortable bubble I was enjoying with my newly expanded family.
Rare gift
Dahlia’s ‘simchat bat’ (Jewish baby-naming ceremony) was planned for the early days of October – about five weeks after Katrina hit. It’s a Jewish tradition (or maybe more of a superstition) to wait until after the birth of a baby to offer a gift. And so, when the day of Dahlia’s naming came around, a large assortment of frilly, pink, beribboned packages collected at our home. Nineteen years later, I’ve forgotten what most of the packages contained…except for one. And the memory still brings tears to my eyes. Inside the plain white envelope was a simple card with the following message:
Dear Dahlia Rose:
Instead of going to the Gap to get you an outfit, or to Mastermind to get you a toy, I’ve decided to make a donation in your honour.
We are so fortunate to have all that we have, when so many others are in need. So, in your name I will be donating the following to a Hurricane Katrina baby:
- 2 undershirts
- 2 sleepers
- 1 receiving blanket
- diapers
- 1 plush toy
Support and comfort
Truly, what better gift could a new mother receive than to know that somewhere, a child in need was receiving support and comfort in a time of suffering?
Another Jewish tradition is to smash a glass at the end of a wedding ceremony. This is meant to serve as a reminder of the fragile nature of life and of how, even in our greatest moments of joy, we should always be mindful of a world in need of healing.
After being so touched by this gesture of kindness offered in my baby daughter’s name, I decided to ‘pay it forward’ by starting a new tradition of my own: to give meaningful donations whenever possible, in lieu of presents.
I’m never surprised when recipients nearly always reply that a carefully chosen donation was one of the best gifts they’ve ever received.
